I'm in the process of getting rid of my Blog's Facebook page.

It didn't really come after a long period of deliberation either. It just hit me. I don't fucking need it. I don't really want to increase the amount of readers that I have. In fact, I would be better off with a smaller audience.

And that is fine. Much like my personal life, I'd rather have a few people that are really-really interested in what I have to say than a bunch of you silently stalking and waiting for the next crazy thing that pops into my mind.

Facebook is actually really forgiving about it. Before you click that big fat "DELETE" button they let you know that you still have 14 days to decide whether or not you want to keep it. I mean, I hit the button, and my page is still out there hanging on to each day like it's the last breath. It's kind of empowering letting something die. I could bring it back...but I'm just going to watch it die.

Wow, that got fucking dark fast.

Anyway.

That being said, I'll maybe update my personal Facebook page when I update this thing. But, I can't decide how lazy I want to be about it. I might make you do the work if you want to see what's going on over here.

Additionally, I made my Instagram private. I weeded out 1/2 of my followers (I KNOW, it's brutal). Because most of them were like - "Follow me, I'm cool and I follow 10,234,343,343 other accounts too. But, YOU are important!" I even unfollowed some accounts that were irritating me too.

At this very moment, if you can still see my feed then you have been saved. If not, there is a 2% chance that it was an accident. The remaining 98% were because I don't know you on any level.

"Why???" - you are probably asking right now.

Well, the short answer is that I am not for everyone. In many, many, different ways. 99% of the time I post small personal moments from my everyday life, and I don't think that all of the internet needs to see it anymore.

The long version is: I have been a long time advocate of the "I have nothing to hide" motto. And, I still don't. But, I think for a very long time I felt like I needed to prove myself to everyone around me. I needed to showcase that I was meaningful. That I have value. That I am wanted. That I am smart. That I'm funny. That I have a really awesome-cool-special-life. These are all reiterations of a previous life and previous relationships. But, it's just not who I am.

When I first made the decision to delete my Facebook page and go private on my Instagram, I couldn't put my head around it. Why....why now?

But I just don't feel that way anymore. I don't have to prove anything to anyone but myself. I've always known. But, I didn't really feel it deeply until recently. You either like this semblance of a personality that I have, or you don't. I don't think there is anything in between.

So, there you have it.

I still don't know what this place on the internet is, or what it really means to me. I don't give a fuck if you like it, or if you agree with what I say. Because it's not really for you. It's for me. And if you get some level of enjoyment out of reading it. Then just fucking embrace it.

-Stef