Somewhat Improved

Well, we did it. We surprised Caydence with Disneyland.

When I say surprised, I really mean that we had to over-explain the concept of an amusement park with all of her favorite Disney characters once we checked into our hotel in Anaheim, CA. I mean...she's six. She has had no exposure to Disneyland up to this point in her life.

She was excited though. So, parenting win.

But, in typical Caydence fashion, she dragged us to the depths of uncomfortable human interactions almost immediately upon our arrival. We took an Uber from the airport to our hotel, and of course, Caydence wanted to talk to the Uber driver.

If you've been with us for a while, you may already know that my daughter has a knack for talking to strangers and making me feel extremely uncomfortable. It's like she lives to see the whites of my eyes expand as I start mouthing, "NOOO" while she simultaneously asks the Walgreen's cashier for a hug.

Welcome to Cringe-Fest-2017. Both Colton and I side-eyed Caydence and harshly whispered, "NO. STOP." as she started to ask meaningless questions to the Uber driver, like; "Why is the sky so cloudy?"

But, you know, Caydence just spent 2 hours on an airplane where her only interactions were with me, Colton, and the iPad. So naturally, she was so severely deprived of the outer world that she desperately needed to replenish her curiosity.

Next Caydence said the worst thing she probably could; "It's HOT in here." And then the Uber driver rolled down all of the windows while we were driving 80 miles an hour down the freeway. It was....refreshing.

We finally got her to stop engaging this poor soul that was randomly selected to drive our asses to the hotel. That's until we arrived at our destination. She exasperated, "Oh my gosh! WE'RE HERE!". Colton and I started thanking the driver and getting out of the car, when Caydence leaned forward and started hugging the guy while simultaneously expressing her gratitude.

We are slightly horrified. "No. STOP. NO." Luckily, the driver was a good sport, and just gave an uncomfortable laugh and we went on our merry way.

Jesus. Like ok....it's kind of sweet. Caydence is literally a pixie-stick-coated-candy-apple-dipped-in-cereal. She is very sweet and kindhearted. But.....we don't know this fucking guy! We don't know anything about him! I mean, STRANGER DANGER. And it really doesn't matter how many times we tell her, it's like she just can't control herself.



Anyway. Taking your kid to Disneyland is probably more fun than actually going yourself - especially the first time. It's so much fun to see and experience all of the excitement with them. The first thing we experienced was "Sleeping Beauties Castle", and it was a little too dark for Caydence. We almost ran through the entire exhibit because Caydence could not get out of there fast enough, tears running down her cheeks and all. I don't blame her though. I hated Sleeping Beauty as a kid, because it's fucking scary. Malificent and her green glowing eyes rocked my soul, and apparently Caydence's too.



We hit up Peter Pan's flight next, because it's right there, and across from it is Snow White's Castle. In the window the Evil Queen opens the curtains and looks out every few minutes. This was also too much for Caydence after we had just ran for our lives from Malificent.

As soon as she realized the Evil Queen was "watching" us, she was not about to lose site of that evil bitch.

"THERE SHE IS. SHE'S IN THE WINDOW AGAIN."
"MOM! SHE'S THERE!"
"SHE KEEPS ON WATCHING US!!!"

So, Disneyland took a little getting used to for Caydence. It was all just a little too real. After a few rides she settled down and started to enjoy herself. That's until we went on Indiana Jones.



She screamed through the entire ride, and not because it was fun. We got off the ride, and she sobbed, "Why was that man trying to kill us!?!?!". The man she was referring to is Indiana Jones. She was so terrified by the experience that she thought Indiana Jones was also a villain along with the crazy-snake-hair-lady.



After that we had to over-explain that everything was fake, so that we didn't traumatize Caydence with Disneyland.


Despite the fact that my kid was half-traumatized, we had a really good time. She loved Splash Mountain and getting to see all of the characters.




We'll definitely be returning. Maybe with less incidents next time.

-Stef

And when I say IT, I mean The Movie: IT. A theatrical retelling of Stephen King's: IT.

**Warning: There are some spoilers ahead.**



I saw IT the day that it came out. Because I'm a hardcore horror movie fan like that. So here we are. I've read a few reviews of the movie, and I don't feel like they really do IT justice, because obviously, everyone that has reviewed the movie probably hasn't read the book. I mean....it's over 1000 pages, so, it takes more than a little dedication.

Yeah...I'm about to be one of those people. But probably not in the way that you think.

Before we begin:

If you have a hard time with "scary movies" - don't watch it.
If you have an irrational fear of clowns - don't watch it.
If you are sensitive to child brutality - definitely don't watch it.

...Because you probably won't come out of the theater the same. But, if your'e like me, and you're a sucker for some really gory fucked-up shit. Please proceed.

I finished the book back in June, in anticipation of the movie coming out this fall. It was a labor of love, like I have described before. The book is extremely detailed, as most books are. So as books that are turned into movies go, I went in with the assumption that it wasn't going to meet my expectations, because that's just the way that it is.

No one can really play to any individual's imagination.

So, I absolutely expected inconsistencies from the book to the movie, and there absolutely were some. But, despite that, I loved it. The most intense, and frightening moments in the book are accurately depicted in the movie.

Especially the first 15 minutes.

I think the most epic and memorable scene in the book/movie is when Georgie meets Pennywise. Georgie is the picture of innocence, and they do a great job of playing that out in the movie. So as you watch Georgie chase his paper ship down Jackson Street, you know that this sweet little boy is about to meet his end, and it hurts. It really does.

I was actually worried that they weren't going to show the brutality of how that scene ends, but they do, it all of it's bloody horrific glory.

I fucking loved it.

I will watch it again. Despite the fact that they messed up how Ben first sees Pennywise - which I think is one of the scarier and intense versions of the shape-shifting-clown.

I mean, there are things that aren't quite the same, but I'm not going to get hung up on it because they did such a great job on the plot themes that were most important.

So, even if you have problem with the things that I meantioned  at the beginnging of this post, you should go and see it. You should see one of the most iconic movies of our time by one of the most iconic writers of our time.

And at the end of the day, the world we live in is much darker than any movie that you would watch. So what do you have to lose? The horrors of the world are waiting at your doorstep anyway.

-Stef

I really like to cook, and not just your average chicken noodle soup, my friends.

I get a wild hair up my ass at least twice a week to EXPERIMENT.

When I say EXPERIMENT, I don't actually mean that I'm a culinary genius and regularly turn your average shit into an explosion of tongue-punching baby unicorns.

I save every awesome looking recipe that I see on Instagram into a cutely labeled folder called FOOD, and dive into it whenever I'm feeling particularly adventurous.

Since Instagram knows things inside my soul that I have not yet even spoken, it knows that I love Mexican food. I think the logic is pretty linear at this point, but I have been spending a lot of time in the Latino section of my metaphorical Instagram cookbook.

Anyway, I have made the following on a few different occasions with the approval of Mr. Steele, so I think that makes them "tried and true".

Make these things and eat them RIGHT NOW. You will not regret it.

1. Skillet Chilaquiles


You could eat this for breakfast, and it would also be appropriate to eat it for lunch and dinner. And snacks. Until I whipped up this recipe, I don't think I ever truly knew what it was like to want to eat something for every meal.

2. Enfrijoladas



3. Aguadito De Pollo (Peruvian Chicken Soup)



Last the best of all the game! Not only is it so green, and so pretty but this soup is so simple, so flavorful, and it will just knock your fucking socks off. I've actually made this at least once a week since finding the recipe....that's how good it is.

Anyway. I didn't write this for nothing. So try them.

(All photo cred goes to the respected links provided for each recipe. I am not that good at photographing food. So, yeah.)

-Stef