My Dearest Little C, Every year, on your birthday, I try to write you a letter. I haven't been the most consistent, but I think we are near the 50% range in terms of task completion. Maybe eventually I'll embarrass you with these letters. Or maybe someday you'll appreciate them. I'll be around for scolding or adoration when either time comes about. Anyway. ...
Well, we did it. We surprised Caydence with Disneyland. When I say surprised, I really mean that we had to over-explain the concept of an amusement park with all of her favorite Disney characters once we checked into our hotel in Anaheim, CA. I mean...she's six. She has had no exposure to Disneyland up to this point in her life. She was excited...
And when I say IT, I mean The Movie: IT. A theatrical retelling of Stephen King's: IT. **Warning: There are some spoilers ahead.** I saw IT the day that it came out. Because I'm a hardcore horror movie fan like that. So here we are. I've read a few reviews of the movie, and I don't feel like they really do IT justice,...
I really like to cook, and not just your average chicken noodle soup, my friends. I get a wild hair up my ass at least twice a week to EXPERIMENT. When I say EXPERIMENT, I don't actually mean that I'm a culinary genius and regularly turn your average shit into an explosion of tongue-punching baby unicorns. I save every awesome looking recipe that...
Part II of the series. The other day, it was National Dog Day, and I took the moment to express the love of my yellow eyed monster. I love that dog SO much. He is just as much a part of the family as anyone else. He is the best dog anyone could ever ask for. So loving. So sweet. I mean, look...
Caydence is a good kid. She just is. She makes friends with everyone she meets, listens, always smiles, and occasionally whips out a random dark comment every now and again when we drive past a cemetery. But sometimes she does really shitty things. So, when you realize your almost-seven-year-old has coated the bottom of the bath tub with conditioner: do not engage. Don't...
This is obvious, probably. Because I believe that most people have a lot of internal dialogue with themselves. But, I have a lot of thoughts. So many I wish I would write down. 50% of the time I feel like I should have a notebook with me at all times because it seems like I have ONE BILLION GOOD IDEAS. Especially in the...
If you follow me on Instagram, you'll already know that I had to renew my license the other day. "The picture that will be on my drivers license for the next 5 years. #twinning" (We recently watched the Dark Crystal with Caydence, and I decided that Jen and I are hair twins.) Don't tell....but I let it expire. For a day. Only a...
I am officially a 30-something today. May 25th marks the day I made my way through my mother's vaginal canal and into this world. You're welcome for that image. Soak it up. I've lived an entire year as a 30 year old, and now that I've got a year of experience under my belt, I think I can speak to what it's like....
Somewhere near the beginning of the year, I internally thought, "Fuck, I am 30. I need to take really-really good care of my skin." That is literally my internal dialogue. I swear a lot. #sorrynotsorry Not that I wasn't already. I just wasn't overly conscious of what I was putting on my face. I'm was already in the habit of the following OCD...
I think the way you embrace or run away from a situation says a lot about you. The way you react in the moment shows a glimpse of the lining of your inner being. The way you speak about others portrays your character. A simple glance at a stranger may portray more than you mean to. Human behavior is an extremely interesting subject,...
I HAVE A LOT TO SAY. Goddammit. But I can't put it together in a way that seems "ok" to me. I guess it's the literal definition of writer's block. Self-Censorship. Except that I can write certain things, like a 6 page essay on Audit Procedures. Yeah, that's a fucking piece of cake. Ask me about my job? Surrrrrre. But sadly, no one...
I'm in the process of getting rid of my Blog's Facebook page. It didn't really come after a long period of deliberation either. It just hit me. I don't fucking need it. I don't really want to increase the amount of readers that I have. In fact, I would be better off with a smaller audience. And that is fine. Much like my...
Over the course of my 30 years on this earth, I'm realizing that being true to myself is more and more important. And that's all that it really comes down to for me. I am so tired of faking appearances, pleasing others at my expense, and being taken advantage of as a result of that. I am pretty fierce. I say what I...
So, the Super Bowl is tomorrow. A.K.A The day we get to eat tons of snacks, drink some beer, and cheer our hearts out. Emphasis on the snacks. The Falcon's definitely deserve a Super Bowl win, but I really-really love that Brady-Edelman combo and I'm hoping for some crazzzy Edelman-throwing-a-touchdown-shit. Also, LeGarrette Blount and the Minute Men?? That's all I want out of...
That little fucker came out of the ground today and said: "SURPRISE BITCHES! MORE WINTER!" Why are we trusting a groundhog for these things? I mean, really. But, I have time-off on the horizon in the warrrrrm desert air, and I am ready to blow this joint. And maybe never come back. Ok, I retract that last statement. I'll come back when it's...
